Do not rush to prove to others

They don’t have to understand you. Maybe they just can’t. Or not interested, do not want to. And what difference does it make, the main thing is that I don’t need it. Although it seems that it is simply necessary to be understood. But in fact, this is incidental, not core. And even if they understand, it will suddenly seem so, and if you dig deeper, it may turn out that they understood, but not at all.

Indeed, why do we need to be understood? Moreover, to be understood correctly, the way we want it.

To share our view of the world, to be accepted into a circle, to make friends. It’s safer and more enjoyable that way. Be your own, who is loved and understood. Now, for a second, let’s imagine the funny thing that you can love someone just for nothing. I know it’s hard to believe this. But we love ourselves. Do we understand ourselves? It seems so. Do we understand well? Well enough to love. And we want others to love us too.

Now for the fact: it’s impossible. The people around us will never love us the way we love ourselves. This is unnatural. Normally, everyone loves himself first. And if someone loves me, then this is not at all the way I love myself. Not because they are so bad and do not know how to love for real. But because they love me not the way they love themselves and not the way I love myself. In short words, a simple conclusion suggests itself: I love me more than anyone else in the world. And therefore, only I know how I feel better.

And therefore, others can only know what is best for them. There is a popular phrase “listen to a woman and do the opposite” – now you understand why it is often true. Indeed, in a relationship it is understood that the interests of a man and a woman can diverge, and if a man listens to what a woman wants in a controversial situation, then the opposite can be what he wants. I would rephrase it to “listen to the other and do it your way” because others obviously want what’s best for themselves.

So why, in fact, we want the whole world to fall in love with us? It seems that this will bring universal happiness and prosperity, wealth and success. But the joke is that even if someone loves you, then his ideas about what is best for you can be fundamentally different from your own (hello “Fathers and Sons”). And if a person loves you, then at the same time he will consider that he has the “moral right” to push you in the right direction out of good intentions. And again the conflict.

Now I like the following idea: to love yourself and those you love. But do not try to explain yourself, to prove that your prettier or right, to convince others that you are worthy of their love. People themselves without me will love me or dislike me if I inspire them with these feelings with my essence. And those whom I myself decided to love, they don’t even understand anything about me at all and consider me anyone, it doesn’t matter to me. To love someone you don’t need anything but what is in itself. To be loved is not necessary at all, I am already adored by myself.

And no matter how many words you say, they will still not be able to understand you completely. They will not understand at all, and not like that. They think it’s weird. Or even think they understand. And even without words. But in a minute it turns out that they understood the wrong thing again. Do not mind it. We still have a whole life ahead of us to figure it out for ourselves. Others also have things to do in life. We love flowers and the smell of macaroons, and we don’t have to break them down into molecules every time to smile with happiness when they are around.

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