Beauty with a filter, love in a screenshot, wealth on credit. They’ve made it — and we broke our favorite mug.
Other people’s lives look like ads, while ours are bloopers. There — a carnival. Here — a swamp of “have to” and “don’t want to.”
So we purse our lips, get angry, even cry. We just forgot that we made up lives. Everyone’s playing the same game…
Why We Envy Other People’s Lives: The Illusion of Happiness on Social Media
Photoshopped beauty, love in Stories, wealth — with a rented car in the background.
We look at all this and think: they have a life, and we… shards of a broken mug.
We were taught since childhood not to envy. But let’s be honest — haven’t you ever felt like others have it better? Envying that “perfect” friend, a successful influencer, or a beautiful couple on vacation? Why does someone else’s happiness hurt — especially when your own feels gray?
The Psychology of Envy: What’s Going On Inside
Envy is a normal human emotion. Psychologists say it’s a mix of irritation, sadness, and a sense of unfairness.
It’s like we’re telling ourselves:
“Why do they have it, and I don’t? I’m trying too!”
When we envy, we might want to destroy what someone else has… or at least take it for ourselves.
Envy activates social comparison — a built-in brain mechanism that once helped us survive. We used to check ourselves against others to stay with the group. Now it turns into constant anxiety: I’m worse, I’m falling behind, I’m not enough.
Envy hits especially hard for people with low self-esteem or unresolved childhood wounds. If you heard things like:
— “Look how hard Masha works. And you?”,
— “Why can’t you be like your brother?”,
— “Dreaming won’t help!”,
— “That’s not for people like you”,
then every success story will trigger old pain.
Social Media = A Highlight Reel
Other people’s lives online are edited. We see snapshots, highlights, moments with perfect lighting and filters.
But off-camera? Maybe arguments, loneliness, debt, anxiety.
We compare their storefront to our stockroom.
And then it starts:
- “You should” earn more
- “You should” be prettier
- “You should” be more interesting
- and all of it — against your will
Envy Is Not Weakness — It’s a Signal
When we feel envy, it doesn’t mean we’re bad.
It means we have dreams we’ve forgotten. Or desires we never allowed ourselves. We made up someone else’s life — and forgot it was fiction.
So what can you do with envy?
- Acknowledge. Yes, I feel envy. It’s okay. Tell a friend or even the “ideal” person.
- Identify. What exactly are you envious of? Beauty? Freedom? Success?
- Transform. Envy is energy. Let it be fuel, not poison. Act!
- Exhale. You don’t have to live someone else’s story. Yours is unique!
In a world where everyone shows only the gloss, your honesty is strength.
Let your story be real — not a perfect frame.
Growth Point: Envy as a Compass
Envy can become a tool for self-discovery.
Next time you feel that sting of envy, don’t brush it off. Instead, ask yourself:
- What exactly triggered me?
- What am I missing in my own life?
- What do I truly want?
- Why do I think it’s out of reach?
Sometimes envy is a clue. Not about them — about you. It says: here’s your pain, here’s your desire. And maybe — here’s your path.
Envy as a Philosophical Problem: Goodbye, Comparison
Philosophers say:
“Envy is suffering from another’s happiness.”
Seneca wrote that envy destroys us from the inside — because it focuses not on our own desires, but on other people’s outcomes. We crave what others have, not what we truly need.
Comparison kills uniqueness. If you compare an apple to an orange — who wins? It makes no sense.
Same with people: you’re not her. You have different strengths, paths, desires. But envy erases that difference and makes us act out someone else’s script.
Real freedom is letting go of the need to be someone else. And starting to be yourself — even if all you have right now is a broken mug.
Envy of Other People’s Lives Isn’t About Them — It’s About You
It’s a signal: you want something more. You’re stuck between “have to,” “don’t want to,” and “can’t.” But you have a choice: envy or action. Why waste time, emotions, and energy thinking about someone else’s life?
Open your eyes. Drop the filters. Find yourself. Live — right now.