Telegram May 13 – July 6, 2022

May 16

I decided to sew shorts, the first fitting. The finished result is already on the boosty and soon the video will be released on the channel “SewCat”

21 May

When you master a new business, there are two main principles: do not piss and do not quit.

23 May

When I reread my plans for life, written on New Year’s Eve: so, where is the sewing and how can I now earn $ 1,500 on YouTube? 

24 мая

Conversation on the Moscow River Igroglaz: The fate of these river trams is completely incomprehensible.. Me: Yes, just as the fate of Russia is not clear. Igroglaz: Well, if we don’t even understand the fate of river trams, what can we say about Russia.

25 May

Conversation after a business lunch *Red sports car drives past* Igroglaz: What would you choose – such a car or me? Me: why do I need this wreck? Igroglaz: are you talking about me?

29 May

Today, children are told that there used to be VCRs, cassettes, and floppy disks. And we will tell you that there used to be McDonald’s, Cocacola and Starbucks.

2 June

By the river: – Do you do aerobics? – No, I’m driving away mosquitoes. Do you run? – No, I’m running away from mosquitoes.

9 June

@igroglaz came and said that I have tourmaline eyes 🥰

11 June

What would I take with me to a desert island: Internet, phone and bright lipstick. What would I take anywhere: the same.

13 June

As @igroglaz commented on a previous post: “that’s what they say in dumb girl groups”, “write better about the sauce”, “this doesn’t sound like you”, “it’s time to grow up”.

Well, now I’ll tell you about the sauce. I am 36 years old, I love to eat fried potatoes with sauces. And today for the first time I made the sauce myself, it was garlic (sour cream, garlic in a garlic press, salt, dill). This is where sour cream can be used!

14 June

@igroglaz, after reading the latest posts: “it turns out I’m such a &**%, it’s not fair to remind me of this” @igroglaz, while I’m writing this post: “are you writing something nasty about me again?” And my favorite: “Would you like me to help you peel the potatoes? Right now, I’ll shave my armpits.”

I am not a cat, I am a horse

And here is my sauce

15 June

Three dream things: defrosting the refrigerator, digesting food and walking with the cat

Sonya’s three favorite things to do on the street: eat grass, catch butterflies, take a nap in a cozy place

Well, if you start watering the flowers, then we are attacked by a cat’s devil

How Sonya is like me: she loves to eat, sleep and take pictures. Well, the benefit from us is common: we purr, we direct the nix, we are pleasing to the eye.

Quiet hour. Cats sleep an average of 16 hours a day, and I’m a cat too.

Sonya plays a computer game

Russian Bear:

Paws with a heart, and against the background of weeds. Interestingly, weed is people’s idea of what is “desirable” and “undesirable”. Dandelion is also a weed, but what a nice little one.

Find Sonya:

My superpower: I can read lips. I even watch videos sometimes without sound.

22 June

An unexpected fact about the Moscow region: the cherry is ripe.

I’m waiting for the makfachka to open here. More name options: makfak, makdak, mac – and that’s all!

Nihilistic neologisms: negative growth, negative interest rate, yes in brackets no.

@igroglaz and I went to the village shop for cookies. We go home and a toned car stops on the road in front of us. A bald man is talking on the phone while driving. Igroglaz says “bandits”. Me: “beat them with buns, buns.”

23 June

Today I received the worst threat in my life: I will refund your money!

24 June

Best anti-stress: sunbathe with two bowls of strawberries, cherries and apricots. But there is a minus: I burned one half of my body, because I fell asleep on my side, and now my legs are of different colors.

26 June

Determinism is like a cat. Ideal Person: Thinks I’m the perfect Cat. Perfect Cat: It’s me.

27 June

To understand how to evaluate yourself, you need to highlight the criteria for your personal success. @igroglaz has a happy cat, that is me. I have a happy me, that is, a cat.

Now the question is: how to succeed? Answer individually! For me it’s making my videos and the freedom to do whatever else I like during the day.

Practice on cats, they said… And now the tricky question: have kids/cat/fish/boyfriend/whatever? I think along these lines: does this contribute to my success in life (in the form that I imagine this success) or not? Well, if you just love to mess with a cat, for example, or a cat helps to make cuter videos, then the answer is obvious.

28 June

Words define more of the meaning attached to them. So why don’t I replace the word “success” with “happiness”? And forget about “success” like a bad dream.

My next book: “How to be happy on YouTube”

I wonder how soon it will appear: “Do you want to be like in SeSheA, where abortion was banned?”

What do I call a cat: you are my sweet herring, wow, hairy ass, who is a fat stomp, pig piggy.

@igroglaz and I were abandoned three times by our parents and “disinherited” twice, what did you achieve? (details in the new video on YouTube)

As the bear commented: “Well, now they are going to disinherit you, at least I’m not so offended.”

29 June

If you eat borscht for breakfast, does breakfast become lunch?

Bear: “What do you call it – salted sausage?” Me: “Sweet herring!”

Well, impossibly good:

1 July

The bear says: “Thay are opening a tasty point.” And then I realized that the new name of McDuck is not so stupid.

2 July

Find Sonya:

5 July

I have a serious question for you: is Cheburashka a monkey or a bear?

I am often called infantile for my appearance, behavior and lifestyle. Who then are they themselves – overripe?

“Your channel is watched only by overgrown girls,” wrote the author with the nickname Igor and a bearded avatar.

My queries in the search: “loser”, “have nothing”, “unsuccessful family member”. That’s what is called – talked to the parents.

If you want to understand what nuances you can expect if you have children, get a cat. And you may find that 1) now there are more photos of the cat than yours 2) how much the cat has eaten and what kind of poop it has – the main topic at breakfast 3) walking with the cat is interesting and fun, and we walk all the time with you as well 4) your bf decides to train and educate the cat, and then walks all scratched 5) you are glad that the parents took the cat and you are not going to adopt a new one at all.

6 July

I’m frying potatoes. I’m frying onions. I am a happy chipmunk.

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