I am often asked what my dreams are now. I also thought, why not make a post on this topic, and at the same time and sort out a little information about myself. I like to call myself a dreamer, but if so, what are my dreams in life? What do I really, really want? What seems to me so desirable, but distant and, perhaps, even unlikely.
Let’s decide what we mean by the word “dream”. Wikipedia tells us that a dream is a hypothetical image of its desired future reality. That is, to have dreams – this means to see yourself in the future, to see some attractive picture or situation to which you are a participant. What could it be?
Previously, with dreams, everything was simple, I will list my past dreams (most of which have already been realized, some are not yet, some have lost relevance, some will not be realized, because it was in conflict with other dreams):
- To wear a doll’s skirt in a kindergarten,
- To get a puppy,
- Have my mobile phone,
- To be a singer,
- To be able to draw,
- Dance with a guy,
- To see the tower of Pisa,
- Close the quarter without 3 grades (C),
- To play the main role in the theater,
- To be a teacher,
- To be president,
- Be a scientist and engage in cloning,
- Meet the new year outside of my home,
- Enter Moscow State University,
- To straight and whiten your teeth,
- Keep your teeth healthy for life,
- Close the session with 5 grades (A),
- Move to the physics department,
- Get a diploma with honours,
- To be a young mother,
- Participate in the reality show Dom-2,
- Study abroad,
- Earn more than 50 thousands rubles (900$),
- Win a science contest,
- Get a grant for education,
- Live with a guy apart from parents,
- To be a TV-host,
- To be a psychologist,
- To have the main role in the movie,
- To grow hair to the waist,
- Get a second higher education,
- Work in a large foreign firm,
- Work at Moscow State University and teach,
- Work remotely from home,
- To lead a website and be a writer,
- To shoot a video on YouTube and have viewers,
- Earn money online,
- To marry once for a lifetime,
- Do not work for anyone,
- To defend my PhD thesis,
- Write an article in English in a decent journal,
- Find myself and my favorite things to do,
- Not to have a mobile phone,
- To have the opportunity to live in Europe or the US,
- Learn to pull up more than 2 times,
- Have my own house with a wardrobe and a swimming pool,
- To have large panoramic windows,
- Have a veranda with a sunbed and umbrella,
- Have a phone with the best camera,
- Freely move around the world,
- Sell my paintings,
- Save the originals of my paintings at home,
- Having 100,000 subscribers on YouTube,
- 1,000,000 subscribers on YouTube,
- Perform on stage,
- Become a mathematician,
- Learn to paint in the university,
- See the Grand Canyon and the paintings of Van Gogh,
- Research the black holes in space,
- Become a programmer in python and R,
- To be an analyst and a statistician,
- Write a book and publish it,
- Learn to walk on my hands,
- To know English and Spanish,
- Maintain a weight of no more than 55 kg for life,
- Be able to play the guitar and sing,
- Support myself with money, doing my favorite thing,
- To be in space at the orbit of the Earth or beyond,
- To have a sport two-door car,
- Do not have a car and use bike,
- To have a lot of bright unusual clothes,
- To have few things in the house,
- To be recignized on the street,
- To be not recognized on the street, when I do not want it,
- Do not dream anymore,
- Find out my dreams.
I was dreaming about deliberately contradictory and mutually exclusive dreams. Whatever the list was successful, I still did not fully satisfied, because the other part could not be realized. I am a person who wanted to live many lives, but she was given only one. I’m a person who does not want to choose – what do I want, a pear or an apple? I want both! And preferably in parallel.
And one more thing. My past dreams now do not satisfy me. If I wrote my life a second time (not anew, but again), I would have chosen everything differently. But also that already was done – it is a pity to lose, let it also remain. I want to be many times a child, thirty times, I think, enough. As many times as a teenager, and in adulthood I probably will stay longer. There are so many different paths and professions! I want to taste every one!
Well, why can not I only dream of living one hundred and thirty different full lives, because I’ve only been given one. What a pity. This is so little. No dick in fact I almost do not to have time! I’m already 32, and I still have so many things to do. But I will not become a young mother any more, just as I will not become a ballerina in my twenty years, I will not swallow tongues as pies in my childhood. I’m not going to do mathematics at 5. And I do not rush into the ocean with the gills.
Before death, there are some minutes, perhaps I will have time to sing my ballad, perhaps I will draw a canvas that will be thrown posthumously over the fence. Maybe I’ll have children, maybe I will not. A dog or a cat, maybe I’ll feed it. Where will I finish the my road? I do not know. I know for sure, I will have few days left. Already now I want to play life in dozens of parallels, but reality is so gray-boring, that only dream-fantasies are alive, moving me to different bodies.
Take all the dreams that are thought of in each of the heads, combine, fold and multiply. And that’s the limit of my dreams is not even like that. Add a pinch from each of the planets from all galaxies and universes. You can add more than all times. Then a little strange dimensions. We will take all our forgotten things with us for a long time. We will add what you will learn later. This whole quantum reminds me a little of my dreamy phantom.
What do you dream about?
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