Does work feel like pure suffering to you? Wondering how to find something you actually enjoy and stop burning out? This is a full guide on how to find yourself.
When I left my office job and started working from home, most people I knew thought I was nuts. “Lazy, wasting her time,” they’d say. Blogging? Freelancing? Remote work? For them, that wasn’t a “real” job. But I’m not mooching off my husband or binge-watching Netflix all day—I’m building my own projects and earning my own living. In this post, I’ll share how I found work I love and stopped suffering at work (even if nobody believed I could).
What “work” means for most people
There’s a pretty solid idea out there of what counts as a “real job.” And if you’re doing something that doesn’t fit that mold, people get confused. They imagine working from home means lying on the couch all day, watching Netflix, while money magically falls from the sky.
The standard idea of work (office, boss, paycheck)
For most people, work is a place you’re forced to show up to every morning (yeah, while suffering), where your boss hounds you, coworkers annoy you, and Friday feels like a national holiday. It’s all clear-cut: wake up, clock in, get your paycheck. But if you don’t go somewhere, if you don’t have an office—well, then clearly, you’re not working.
Although, to be fair, remote work has shaken up that stereotype a bit. Since 2020, it’s become more normal to imagine people sitting at home in their bathrobes (or business shirt on top, blanket below), hopping on Zoom calls, getting things done. So now folks get that remote workers aren’t just slackers—they’re just people who don’t commute.
But even with that shift, freelancers and self-employed folks still live in this gray area emotionally. Like, are they working? Are they just messing around? Because if there’s no boss and no paycheck twice a month—it feels suspicious. You’re sitting at home? Must be goofing off.
Why people believe you shouldn’t enjoy work
Why do people believe you can’t enjoy your work? Because, for them, suffering is the norm. If you’re not sighing in the morning, cursing your alarm clock, dreaming of a desert island escape—then you’re probably “not working.” In their heads, work is supposed to be hard, like a duty you endure. Kind of like school: you just push through because you have to. Fun comes later—after six o’clock, after Friday, after vacation, someday…
And if you suddenly love what you do? Super suspicious. “That can’t be a real job,” they’ll think. Or they’ll add, “You’re just lucky.” Because the script says you’re supposed to suffer. Work is like a bitter pill: you swallow it to make a living. But if you’re smiling while you take it? Something doesn’t add up.
Some people still believe you can’t love your job, just like you supposedly can’t love your spouse. You’re supposed to respect and slightly fear your boss (and your partner). Love? That’s for hobbies—or a lover on the side. In their world, a job is where you do stuff you don’t like, for a fixed paycheck. And that’s why you go.
Why working from home or freelancing is still real work
And here’s where it gets really interesting. Because even if you’re not commuting, even if you’re not stuck in traffic, that doesn’t mean you’re not working. Remote jobs, freelance gigs, blogging—all that is totally legit work now. Sure, it feels different. Sure, for some people, it still feels kind of suspicious. But it’s still work. The rules are just different. So let me tell you what’s really going on in this weird little world, where people don’t have bosses breathing down their necks—but still manage to make a living.
What do freelancers, remote workers, and bloggers actually do?
Freelancers, remote workers, bloggers, solopreneurs—these are the folks who create projects, write articles, make videos, edit content, design illustrations, build websites, run social media, plan content calendars, negotiate with clients—they’re behind a lot of what you see online and in your daily life.
For me? I make videos for my YouTube channels (and trust me, it’s not just “turn on the camera and ramble”). It’s scripts, filming, editing, designing thumbnails, promoting. I write articles for my website, brainstorm ideas, craft posts that aren’t just generic fluff but actually worth reading. I design covers, edit, develop concepts. I basically run a media company out of my head. Every day is a tiny creative marathon.
Here’s what my desk looks like mid-shoot or mid-edit: me, holding a coffee mug while recording something, laptop and notebook spread out, my favorite cat hanging around.
And then there are people who play video games, record it, upload it to YouTube — and that’s their job. Or take PewDiePie, for example, who hasn’t heard of him? The guy just sits, plays games, cracks jokes — and makes a living off it. He’s considered the most famous YouTuber in the world, by the way. And there are many like him. Everyone has their own style, but the core idea is the same — this is not about slacking off at home, this is modern-day work.
Common stereotypes about freelancing and remote work
So here’s the deal: you tell someone you work from home, and you get that look like: “Ah, I see… lounging around, sipping tea all day.”
You’re at home, smiling — clearly, you’re not working! Because… what could you possibly be doing at home that’s actually useful? Obviously, you must be lying and making it all up!
- If you’re remote — clearly, you’re a lazy bum, slowly falling apart
- If you’re freelancing — must be an easy gig, but you’ll never make real money
- And if you’re a blogger — well, that’s not a real job at all, just messing around
For some reason, people struggle to believe that work can look different. That you can skip the commute, avoid annoying bosses, and still earn a living and contribute. In many minds, if there’s no strict schedule and no boss breathing down your neck — it’s not serious.
And if you love what you do, if you actually enjoy editing, writing, filming — well, that’s definitely not real work. Must be a hobby! And the money? “Oh, you probably just got lucky or have a sponsor,” they think. Honestly, I didn’t believe it was possible to make a living doing what I love until I tried it myself.
The truth is, online work is often tougher than office life. You’re your own manager, customer support, therapist, and tech specialist. There’s no set salary — what you earn depends on what you produce. Do less — and you’re also your own grumpy boss. The competition is fierce, the world changes fast, and you’ve got to evolve just as quickly to keep up.
When you’re building your own projects, you’ve got to constantly learn new things so you don’t get left behind. You wear many hats — from designer and programmer to negotiator and public speaker. I’m learning new tools and skills every day, picking up insights from others, and putting them to work right away.
What’s the difference between freelancing and remote work?
This is probably the most asked question! People mix them up all the time. But there’s a difference — not just in words, but in lifestyle vibes too.
Remote work means you have an employer, a contract, a schedule (even if it’s flexible), tasks, and deadlines. You’re doing all that, just not in an office. Maybe from home, a café, wherever. You’re an office employee, just without the office. You get a regular paycheck, attend meetings, collaborate on projects — it’s the same setup as in-office work but from a distance (also called remote work or working remotely).
Freelancing means you’re your own boss. You find your own gigs, set your own deadlines (well, negotiate with clients), work for whoever you want — maybe ten different companies at once. One day you’re writing articles, the next you’re editing videos, and the day after that, maybe you’re taking a break (or not). There’s no set salary — you get paid for each project. And total freedom comes with its risks: if you want to work, you hunt for gigs; if you don’t, you rest (but then there’s no money!).
So, in short: remote work offers stability and structure, freelancing brings freedom and chaos. And in that chaos, you can either thrive or drown. It really depends on the person.
My Story: How I Quit My Job to Find Myself
If you’re curious to see what that journey looked like from the inside — here’s my video about how I took the leap, left my job, and started exploring freelancing and blogging:
How I Became a Freelancer (My Story)
Back in high school, I was obsessed with Carrie Bradshaw — you know, that character from the show who sat at home (or in a café), typing up her columns for the newspaper, writing about life, love, and everything in between… She looked so free, so stylish. It seemed like the perfect lifestyle: writing, reflecting, shaping your thoughts, and doing it from anywhere. But back then, I thought — that’s just TV, real life is different.
Then came real life — I worked as a marketing analyst at a huge international company, running around the office with charts and spreadsheets, but in my spare moments (you know, when no one was watching), I’d sneak in time to write articles for my website. Because deep down, I felt it — I wanted to write, I wanted to share, I wanted this to be my thing.
One day, while shopping for a gift for a friend, I wandered into a bookstore and… bought her a copy of “Work from Home”. Funny? Maybe. But honestly, I was the one who was curious. I just hadn’t realized yet how much it resonated with me. I flipped through that book thinking, “Hmm… cool, but this isn’t for me… at least not yet.”
But work kept getting heavier and heavier — I was leading the analytics team and climbing the career ladder pretty fast. But like many “grown-ups” — every morning I didn’t want to get up, during the day I’d check the clock (waiting for Friday, waiting for the evening), and at night I’d cry. From exhaustion? From feeling powerless? Probably a mix of both.
Then I met a woman who had built her own web design agency online — right from her apartment in Moscow. All her colleagues worked from home, spread out across different cities. And I was curious — what was their life like? No office, no bosses. Just doing what they loved, in their own way — and that’s it.
And one day, when I completely stopped enjoying the office grind, I decided to try something different. I told myself — enough. I wrote my resignation letter and quit all my jobs at once (yeah, I had a few). Just to give myself a shot at doing something my own, or maybe even ours — together with my boyfriend, who’s now my husband.
I wanted freedom, creativity, something exciting. I wanted to make money without suffering, with joy. I wasn’t exactly sure how — I had ideas ranging from starting a web design agency or a photo studio to doing outsourced analytics or becoming a blogger. A home office. My own pace. My own projects. And I started filming videos for YouTube, hoping for the best.
At first, it was really scary! But suddenly, life felt exciting again, and waking up felt good. I felt like a happy chipmunk once more — only now not in an office, but at home — on my terms, doing my thing. Everything became interesting again: writing articles, making videos, playing with design, learning about gear, editing, promoting. It felt like I was reborn!
Why people react negatively to someone else’s unconventional choices
When someone chooses a non-traditional path — like working from home, freelancing, building their own thing, or starting a blog — criticism starts pouring in. Things like, “That’s not a real job”, or “Why don’t you do something normal?”. And it’s not just about misunderstanding.
Jealousy? Fear? Or just misunderstanding?
There’s this thing — unconventional choices tend to annoy people. Why? Because they break the script. There’s a familiar formula: work = office, boss, paycheck twice a month. And then someone shows up who decides to do it differently. To work from home, to run a blog, to create something of their own. And that’s scary.
Scary because it makes people wonder:
- “Could I do something different too?”
- “If it works for them, why am I still suffering?”
And instead of looking inward, it’s easier to say:
“They’re just lazy”
“That’s not real work”
“That’s not how life works”.
This is a defense mechanism. It kicks in to avoid facing your own fears: fear of change, fear of stepping out of the familiar. Because if you accept that it’s possible to work and actually enjoy it — you might have to ask yourself why you’re not doing the same.
Why “happy at work” people support you, and unhappy ones criticize
When I worked in an office and was a happy little chipmunk — at first, I really loved my job. I was all about climbing the career ladder, chasing achievements, enjoying colleagues, collecting badges — the whole hustle. And when I met people who worked from home, I thought:
“Cool, good for them! But that’s not for me.”
I didn’t try to convince them otherwise or downplay what they did. I was just curious about how they lived.
But when I faced criticism for my blogging, it hit differently. It wasn’t curiosity — it was anger, distrust, a real urge to point fingers and say:
“Are you crazy? That’s not a real job.”
“Stop wasting your time on nonsense.”
And that’s when I noticed something: people who are happy with their lives might be surprised or ask questions, but they don’t dismiss or belittle you. They’re not afraid of someone making different choices. Because they feel good about their own path. They’re not scared that someone else is living differently.
But those who hate their jobs, who struggle, who loathe Mondays — they react much more intensely. Your joy triggers them. Here you are, all smiles, while they feel trapped. And instead of facing that, or making a change, they criticize and tear others down.
Why does it trigger people?
Because happy people stand out. You’re over here smiling, doing what you love, and someone else is dealing with a storm inside. So it spills out:
“They’re not even doing anything.”
“She probably has a rich husband.”
“She just got lucky.”
It’s easier to say that than to admit:
“Maybe I want something different too.”
Once I understood a bit more about human psychology, I stopped letting these comments get to me. And you can too — don’t take it personally. It’s their story, their beliefs, their fears. You just keep doing your thing and finding your joy.
A real-life example: love your profession but still feel miserable — what now?
I’ve been sharing my journey online, talking openly about my wins and struggles along the way toward a freer, more creative life. I post about it on my YouTube channels like “Greed for Knowledge” and on my personal vlog “Shtukensia LIVE”. I get a lot of questions — and even more criticism: “This is all a fantasy,” people say. “Only rich folks can afford to live freely. Regular people have to work!”
I love my profession, but I hate my job!
In the comments under one of my videos, a viewer shared her story. She’s a chemist and genuinely loves her profession. She enjoys working in the lab, but the conditions of the job are wearing her down. To make a living, she has to get up at five or six in the morning, spend hours commuting, and put in nine-hour days at the lab. Vacation days? She has to save them up all year. And weekends? They disappear into chores — cleaning, cooking, laundry. There’s barely any time left for life.
She asked me: “So what should I do? How can I live my best — and only — life?”
When passion isn’t enough
This is such a common story — you love what you do, but the conditions you’re working under turn it into a grind. Especially in fields where flexibility is low and the workload is intense.
When she asked me this question, I shared my perspective. Freedom doesn’t always mean having the perfect job or situation — sometimes it’s about finding small joys right where you are. It can be a temporary stage where the key is to identify what exactly you’re missing: Is it more free time? A different schedule? A new work format? And most importantly — why do you want this change? What’s driving you to look for something different?
Where to find flexibility?
In a situation like this, I’d suggest exploring three potential paths:
- Look for new meaning within your current profession. Are there aspects of your work that bring joy or that you could develop further to make your job more fulfilling? Maybe teaching, joining special projects, or diving into research?
- Explore different employment formats. This could mean switching to another company, moving to a different city (or even country) where the work conditions are better. Or maybe finding a part-time position or a remote job in a related field.
- Consider shifting your direction. Not necessarily leaving your profession altogether, but blending it with something else, adding a side project, or trying something new alongside your main gig.
And of course, the most important thing — ask yourself honestly: “What do I want from my life?” Because at the end of the day, it’s your life, and no one else can tell you which path is right for you.
Yes, in this case, I could feel her frustration and anger — and that’s totally valid. When you’ve been stuck in tough conditions for too long, resentment builds up. But it’s important not to turn that frustration outward (like, “well, you changed your life, and I haven’t”), but instead to use that energy to start changing things for yourself.
How to find your thing, make a living from it, and stop hating your job
Okay, now we’re getting to the good stuff. Because, sure, complaining about your job is one thing, but figuring out what to do with that frustration — that’s a whole different level. I spent a long time on autopilot too — getting up with my alarm, going to work, dragging myself through the evenings… until one day, I asked myself: “Do I really want to keep living like this?”. And here are a few questions that helped me start finding my own path (or at least take that first step).
What questions should you ask yourself to figure out what to do?
- What do you genuinely enjoy doing? (and no, not “lying around doing nothing” — be honest; write down everything, even if you have no clue how to make money from it).
- What would you do even if you weren’t getting paid? (for me, it was writing articles just for fun, taking photos, making videos — sometimes even late at night).
- What are you naturally good at? (sometimes you don’t even realize it’s a strength until people start asking you for help or advice).
- What are you willing to spend your time on without feeling like your life is slipping away? (this one’s about your personal values — what feels meaningful and worth your energy).
Just take some time to reflect. You don’t have to flip your life upside down right away — just listen to yourself.
How to find the right work format for you (office, remote, self-employed)?
You might thrive as an office-loving happy chipmunk (I was one at the start of my career), or maybe remote work is more your thing, or maybe you’re itching to start your own thing. The key is to be honest with yourself:
- Do you enjoy working in a team? Or do you prefer being your own boss?
- Do you need a structured schedule? Or do you crave freedom, even if it gets a little chaotic?
- Do you feed off the energy of people and events? Or would you rather quietly work with your laptop and your cat?
This isn’t about making the “right choice.” It’s about figuring out what rhythm feels good for you. Because honestly, even remote work or freelancing can easily turn into a job you dread if you’re doing the wrong thing or doing it in a way that doesn’t suit you. The only way to find your sweet spot is to experiment. Try things out and see how they feel — that’s the only real way to know if something works for you.
For me, I realized I can’t stand waking up to an alarm clock or doing repetitive, routine tasks. I need personal freedom — to wake up when I’m rested, to work in comfy clothes without makeup. I’m the kind of person who loves creating things from scratch, but polishing and perfecting? That gets boring fast. Creatively, I’m strongest when I’m working on new ideas and short formats.
Where do you even start if you want to try freelancing or remote work?
First things first: build a financial cushion. Before I left my 9-to-5 for good, I saved up enough money to cover a year of basic living expenses — rent, food, the essentials. Not many people talk about this, but starting something from scratch is almost impossible without at least a small safety net.
Second: bring your patience. Sure, sometimes things take off quickly, but honestly? Expect it to take one, two, even three years to start seeing results. Take blogging (especially YouTube), for example — it took me about five years before I started earning real money from it. So in the beginning, I freelanced on the side — writing articles, doing analytics, helping my husband with websites — just to keep things going.
If you’re wondering what that “dream job” could be — the one that not only lights you up but also pays the bills (because, let’s be real, we all need to eat and pay rent) — here’s how you might start thinking about it:
- Look around: What are you good at? What have people already paid you for (or would be willing to)? What skills do you have that you could level up, tweak, or use in a new way?
- Take small steps: Try a tiny freelance project or ask for a part-time remote gig. Sometimes just a couple of projects are enough to figure out whether this path is even your thing.
- Don’t quit everything cold turkey if that freaks you out. You can ease into it (that’s what I did — working my day job while writing articles, making my first videos, and building up savings).
- Keep some doors open. Don’t burn all your bridges right away. Things don’t always go as planned, and it’s nice to know you have options if you need to circle back.
- Talk to people who are already living this way — ask them how they manage, what they love, what drives them nuts. It’ll give you a real feel for what this life is like.
- Don’t wait for perfect conditions — just start trying stuff.
And remember: finding your thing isn’t always about stumbling onto some magical dreamland right away. Most of the time, it’s a journey — you try, you mess up, you tweak, and try again. But if you don’t dread your mornings, if you actually want to get up and do stuff — you’re on the right track. And honestly? That’s already a win.
Frequently Asked Questions
❓ How do I find work I love?
Try different things — a test project, a social media post, anything. Your passion usually shows up in the small experiments you make along the way.
❓ Can I make money working remotely without experience?
Absolutely. Start with simple gigs and learn as you go. Experience (and income!) builds over time — it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
❓ No one supports me. What should I do?
Find at least one ally — a friend, an online community, anyone who gets it. And remember, other people’s opinions? That’s their stuff, not yours.
In the end, you’re the one who gets to decide what your life looks like. I hope you find your thing, your rhythm, your joys. Let it be a journey that brings you happiness and freedom. I didn’t find my groove right away — it was scary, it was hard. But it was worth every step.
Feel free to share in the comments — have you ever faced judgment for the kind of work you do? Or maybe you’ve found your path and want to tell your story? Drop it below — you never know who might read it and feel inspired to make a change. And if this topic resonates with you, check out my channels — I dive into this kind of stuff a lot!