Why do I feel envious when scrolling through social media? From a young age, we’re taught to compare ourselves to others — who gets better grades, who has cooler toys, who’s faster. And when your self-esteem wobbles, those flawless photos and polished videos online can throw you off balance. Filtered beauty, love frozen in a perfect frame, wealth flaunted next to a rented car. They’ve got it all, and here we are — breaking our favorite mug.
Other people’s lives look like an ad, while ours feel like bloopers. It’s a carnival over there — and we’re stuck in a swamp of “should” and “don’t want to.”
So we purse our lips, feel angry, maybe even cry. But we’ve simply forgotten that we made up their life stories in our heads. Everyone’s playing this game…
The Psychology of Envy
Photoshopped beauty, love in Instagram stories, wealth posed next to a borrowed car.
We see all that and think: they’re living the life, and we’re left picking up the pieces of a broken mug.
We’ve been told since childhood not to envy others. But let’s be real — haven’t you ever felt like someone else had it better? Ever envied that “perfect” friend, the successful influencer, or that beautiful couple on vacation? Why does someone else’s happiness hurt — especially when your own life feels dull? Let’s dive into why we feel envious on social media, even though we know it doesn’t make sense.
What Happens Inside When I Feel Envious
Envy is a normal human emotion. Psychologists say it’s a blend of irritation, sadness, and a sense of unfairness.
It sounds something like this in our heads:
“Why do they have this, and I don’t? I’m trying just as hard!”
When we envy someone, part of us might secretly want to tear down what they have — or at least grab it for ourselves.
In those moments, social comparison kicks in — a built-in brain mechanism that once helped us survive by staying in sync with the group. Now, it just fuels anxiety: I’m behind. I’m not enough. I don’t measure up.
How Comparing Yourself to Others Hurts Your Self-Esteem
Envy hits harder if your self-esteem is low or if you’re carrying old childhood wounds. If you grew up hearing things like:
— “Look how hard Masha tries, and you?”
— “Why can’t you be more like your brother?”
— “Dreaming won’t get you anywhere,”
— “That’s out of your league,”
then every success you see online reopens that old pain.
Social Media Is Just a Highlight Reel
Other people’s lives online? It’s all edited. We see the snapshots, the best moments, the perfectly lit and filtered shots.
We’re looking at the kind of posts that typically spark envy — they hit you right in the feels and get people fired up to comment. As a result, it’s usually these posts that end up trending.
But behind the scenes? Maybe it’s fights, loneliness, debt, anxiety.
We compare their storefront to our messy backroom.
And then it begins:
- I “should” be making more money
- I “should” be prettier
- I “should” be more interesting
- And all of it feels like one big “I don’t want to”
What to Do About Envy
Feeling envious doesn’t make you a bad person. It means there are dreams you’ve forgotten or desires you haven’t given yourself permission to have. We make up someone else’s life — and forget that it’s just a story. But there are ways to stop envy from ruining your mood and to stop envying other people’s lives.
Step-by-Step Guide
- Acknowledge. Yes, I feel envy. That’s normal. Tell a friend — or even the “perfect” person you envy.
- Break it down. What exactly are you envious of? Their looks? Freedom? Success?
- Transform it. Envy is energy. Let it fuel you instead of poisoning you. Take action!
- Exhale. You don’t have to live someone else’s story. You’ve got your own — unique and yours alone!
In a world where everyone shows only the gloss, your honesty is your strength.
Let your life be more than a snapshot — let it be a real story.
Growth Point: Envy as a Compass
Envy can be a tool for self-discovery.
Next time you feel that sting of envy, don’t brush it off. Instead, ask yourself:
- What exactly triggered me?
- What’s missing from my own life?
- What do I truly want?
- Why do I believe it’s out of reach?
Sometimes envy is a clue — not about them, but about you. It shows: here’s where it hurts, here’s where you care. And maybe — here’s where your journey starts.
Envy as a Philosophical Problem
Philosophers say:
“Envy is suffering at someone else’s happiness.”
Seneca wrote that envy destroys us from the inside — because it focuses not on our own desires, but on someone else’s results. We end up wanting things not because they fit us — but because we saw them in someone else’s life.
Comparison kills uniqueness. If you compare an apple and an orange — who wins? It’s pointless.
Same with people: you’re not her. You’ve got different qualities, a different path, different dreams. But envy blurs those lines and tricks us into playing someone else’s role.
True freedom is letting go of the need to be someone else — and finally being yourself. Even if right now, you’re holding a broken mug.
Envying Other People’s Lives Is Not About Them — It’s About You
It’s a signal: you want something more. You’re stuck between “should,” “don’t want to,” and “can’t.” But you have a choice: keep envying or start acting. Why waste time, energy, and emotions on someone else’s life?
Open your eyes. Drop the filters. Find yourself! Start living now.
Do you ever catch yourself feeling envious while scrolling through social media? Share in the comments — it might help you and someone else realize we’re all in this together.
Now you know why we feel envious on social media and how to work with it. Don’t let comparison steal your joy — your path is your own!