We’ve been together for 18+ years, we’ve been together 24/7 for the last 10 years – doing things together, working from home, walking and relaxing, spending all our days and nights together.
Psychologists like to say that being too close in a relationship is bad. Everyone should remain an individual, have themselves separate from the other, have their own friends, their own mobile phone, you can’t connect and be one “we”. As if this is bad for your relationship, you will lose passion and love. And there might be fatigue and a desire for novelty.
I can tell you from experience – it’s all nonsense! It seems to me that people repeat after each other these mantras about “co-dependent relationships” and other mergers as it’s so fashionable these days. And they just don’t manage to be close together without pissing each other off. That’s why theories about “separation”and other tricks are made up.
The way things work for us:
✅ we are each other’s best friends and we are not friends with anyone individually
✅ mobile phones, computers, money, mail are ours in common
✅ everyone has personal space to be alone
✅ if space allows, we sleep and work in separate rooms
✅ we walk hand in hand, eat together, solve problems together
✅ “we are a team”
We go to the toilet together and wait for each other at the entrance, sharing secrets and showing ourselves for who we are. After all these years, we are still together, our relationship is only getting better and stronger with time. Being one is great! Especially when everyone is busy fulfilling themselves and does not “stick” to the other, but inspires to move on with our lives.
How close do you want to be in a relationship?